Darkwood Crossing

Letters to Frostnip #13

To Hell and Back

Heya Frosty!

Shizzle has been going down here in the mortal world, I got lots to tell you about, so let’s get to it. So first, it turned out Arja’s brother was being manipulated by some dufus, so I had to straighten him out. It felt super weird, like, all this stuff Grandma always used to say to me just flew out of my mouth and slapped him upside the head with a face-full of wisdom. After that, it was all good, we beat down the bad guy and let it ride.

Next up was the city of doors. Miki wasn’t nearly as mad as I thought she’d be for making her wait there while we sorted out Shal’d (I think she might be mellowing out a bit). And she says it turns out the fire primordial guy is actually on the fourth level of Hell. And the only person who has a portal is someone named Lu Ruskin. So we visit Lu, who is down to help us out, but first wants us to take down someone named Three-Armed Pete. We head over to give Pete the beating of his life, but it turns out he’s actually an undercover Angel who is doing good on the down-low. He can get us into hell, but on level 3, not level 4, and wants us to help him with something while we’re there.

We figure we can spare some time to do Heaven a solid, so we take the portal to level 3, wreck some dudes who tried to ambush us the moment we arrive, wreck some MORE people on the way to this Library thing. Caelynna (I think that was her name, she was Pete’s buddy, and helped with the fighting a bit) said that’s where we’d find the…magic scroll thing… that Pete needed. I managed to trick some Devils into thinking we were sent by Mammon, the Lord of level 3, and we found the scroll after searching around a while. We ALSO found a bunch of mirrors made by some guy Brandis knew. I’m still not sure what the deal was there, but more importantly, there was this one mirror that showed these three Eladrin girls. It was weird, like, I felt like I knew all of them, and one of them kind of reminded me of you a bit. She totally rejected the crap out of this other Eladrin guy and said something about having to go to the mortal world. I have NO idea what it meant, but it really seemed to bother Miki when we were told how long ago it happened. Everyone else had weird mirror things happen too, but I wasn’t paying a lot of attention.

Anyway, after that, we bossed our way down to the fourth level of Hell, and that was a serious bummer. Like, it was all fire, all the time, and none of my ice attacks were as strong as they should be. Its a good thing Jay was there becau…wait, have I ever told you about Jay? She’s this elf from Misty Veil who became a member of the Feyblades like, a long time ago. She’s super stealthy and good at dance battles. You’d like her. She’s really quiet though. It’s like she’s got a mute button that’s pressed most of the time.

Back to the story, we got to the main castle thingy on level four and I got to watch the Devils hold court and man was it BORING. It’s like they never asked themselves “Isn’t there some way to make bureaucracy more fun?” the way the Fey did a long time ago. What a bunch of chumps. They just sit and make decisions all day. No dance battles, no wit duels, no dramatic objections or surprise witnesses or sudden reversals or elemental square power boosts, or heart of the cards draws or ANY of that.

Eventually we get to some kind of records thing, and it was all books all the time so I left that to Miki and Brandis. They figured out where the fire guy was, we went there and we beat him up, ho hum, no biggie, forgone conclusion, we always win because we’re the truck-mothering FEYBLADES and no one messes with us unless they want a serious ass-whooping. The Fire guy was having Oni no Kitai do some kind of weird… ritual… thing, it was stupid, I didn’t pay any attention. But it turns out the Fire Primordial wasn’t so bad, and he didn’t have any interest in killing the universe, so we pokeballed him until we can figure out a way to keep him contained without killing him.

So we got back to the city of doors, but now Kitai (the human one) and shiba whoever his friend were missing, so we went to Lu Ruskins to find them, when who do we see but Three-armed Pete laying siege to get Caelynna back. It seems Caelynna and Ruskin had some kind of beef, like her dad tried to kill him, so Ruskin had to kill the dad first. I couldn’t really follow it, but I couldn’t just leave it alone. I had to lay down the law on some guard captain who thought he was a bigshot, then I told Caelynna and Lu Ruskin to knock it off, which they did, because I am awesome. So we’re all friends(ish) and Lu Ruskin will let me use the scroll thingy that Caelynna was trying to use on him if I need it. Power Word Magic Lock, I think it’s called? The point is, I am now famous in the City of Doors AND Hell AND Heaven. Oh, did you know that His Icy Doominess is now calling me his Dagger in the Darkness? What a boss name, right?

So one more thing, ever since we visited the Hell library, Miki will NOT leave me alone. She’s always asking me stuff about Grandma, and my super awesome artifact weapon, and Andrath Ardorway, and the Sisters of Lament (seriously, who wants to talk about the creepy banshees who hang around with His Supreme Frosty Posterior all the time?) Finally she just pestered me to include a letter Grandma with the one I sent to you, so just make sure she gets it will you? Thanks.

The Pixie Who Will Pierce The Heavens,
Snapdragon

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