Sorry, it’s been a while since I wrote you, I’ve been SUPER busy killing monsters and stuff, but I’ve got so much to tell you!
So first off, they added like a ton of people to my scouting party. There’s another bard, Falcor, and he’s cool, because he’s Eladrin and therefore not as lame as the mortals (though he’s not a Pixie, and so unfortunately will always be cursed with lameness). There was also another Eladrin, this Raven Queen paladin guy, named…um…huh, I don’t remember. Oh well, it probably wasn’t important. Lastly, there’s a wizard named…something Mundy? I think? Man, these guys need to try being more memorable, it’s really inconvenient when I’m trying to tell you stuff and I can’t remember anything about them.
Okay, so our mission- we got assigned to take out these bandits. I think I mentioned last time, they were the bosses of the bandits we fought in town. I
mostly flew around cheering people up while we were tracking them to their lair am totally the best tracker ever and found their hideout without breaking a sweat. Then it turned out there were a bunch of zombies in there, and that was a really hard fight. I think I blacked out from all the ass I was kicking, I don’t remember the last part of the fight very well. But I totally broke the spell that was creating more zombies, which pretty much turned the tide of the whole thing. We also fought this giant ogre undead guy, but he was a pushover, mostly because I figured out his secret trap thing and disabled it. And then I rearranged his ugly face into the UGLIEST POSSIBLE FACE with my l33t skillz.
It turned out the bandits were hiding from the zombies behind some kind of secret door, which, of course, I found. Then we wrecked them and I figured out that their boss was totally working for some mortal bigshot who doesn’t like the town (I think his name was Lord Feldmark). So we took our evidence back to Mixmaster Z, he was all like “Dayyummmm, ya’ll kicked butt. Mostly Snapdragon, but that’s to be expected.”
Also, it turned out the zombies were being summoned to the hideout by some kind of idol of Orcus, so we burned it. But we had to find out where the zombies were coming from. We got a lead that some weird stuff was going down at this old Eladrin place in the forest, so we tracked it down, and whooped some cultist and zombie ass. There was this weird coin thing that one of the priest’s minions had that made him act funny when we asked him to surrender. Hawkthorn tried to pretend it wasn’t there and keep it for himself, which I thought was bogus, so I swiped it from him (don’t tell him though, cause that would be like, super-duper awkward). I was right though (I mean, I’m always right, but this time I was, like, 4000 percent right), Fisty the Magic Item guy said it had some bad juju on it. I’m gonna have to figure out a way to destroy it.
That’s not even the weirdest part though. It turned out the evil priest guy had some kind Fomorian artifact. You remember how Hellebore was droning on about boring political stuff that one time (I know, I know, that’s pretty much all she does, but try to remember) and mentioned Fomorian artifacts were involved in a human war, but some god came down and wiped everyone’s memory? This artifact was one of those artifacts! And it being back is, like, super bad news. Mixmaster Z entrusted it to my team while we figure out what’s going on, so the pressure’s on now. I kind of wish Grandma was here now, to be honest. She was always on top of that Fomorian stuff. But, you know, don’t actually TELL her that. Oh hey, could you ask her about it? Not obviously, but kind of slip it into conversation? Pump her for info, you know?
Oh, and last but not least, I’m hanging out with this squirrel named Leafcrackle. He’s got a pretty nice place, but it’s lacking some flair, so we’re totally pimping it out! (Beeteedubs, don’t blame me for the stripper pole if you visit, that was TOTALLY Leafcrackle’s idea)
Still totally not missing the Feywild in any way and having an awesome time,