So first things first- I’m REALLY sorry that it’s been so long since you hear from me. But it totally isn’t my fault. That soon-to-be fuzzy doormat Leafcrackle has been shredding them and using them for insulation. Last time I trust HIM with anything. As soon as I find him, it is ON.
I just have to remember not to let him challenge me to poker, because he’s a huge cheater. It will be fine. He can’t hid from me.
Anywho, I have so much to catch up on, and I can barely keep everything straight. So remember that human Kitai? And how he was connected to a demon? Well it turns out that demon (who is Oni no Kitai, beeteedubs) wasn’t such a bad guy, and he told us about the real threat, which is the Primordials, who were released…somehow? I don’t remember, it’s not important. There’s a water one, an air one, a fire one, an earth one, and another one that’s like, “void” which is stupid, because that’s not even an element, but whateves. And we have these orbs we have to put the Primordials into, so we can use their power to…um…do…something. The point is, it’s important.
So FIRST went to take out the water one, cause she was causing havoc and creating this giant killer storm and stuff. So we went all pirate, got ourselves a crew, and went sailing on the high seas. Except the pirates we hired were actually bad people in some ways, which wasn’t cool, so I challenged them that if we actually won, they couldn’t be bad anymore. So problem solved, cause obviously we won. The Feyblades are invincible, cause I’m in charge of them, so how could they not be? So we got the element and freed some mer-people, and everyone was super stoked that the storm was finally over— but none of that matters, because then the BEST THING EVER happened. I got a SPACE SHIP. AND BECAME A SPACE PIRATE. FOR REAL.
Isn’t that the coolest thing ever!?! I was captain and everything, and all flying the ship around like neeeeow, fwooosh, kapow! We freed some people from some other people, wrecked all the bad guys in space cause we’re awesome, and then we went to where the Air Primordial lady was…annnnd she didn’t seem that bad, honestly. So we brought her back to figure out a way to not have to beat her up, when it turned out that jerk Tatty Boggle showed up and stole Oni no Kitai.
At the same time, Arja’s brother seems to have gone all fruitloops and doing…um…stuff. I don’t remember, Arja was talking, and I was super bored. But then who should show back up, but that robotic douchenozzle and perennial Snapdragon curbstomp recipiant, Richard Thornbrook. And he was blowing up kids. So THIS time he won’t be coming back. I wrecked his face of course, but I’m not stopping there. I’m about to kill this asshole harder than anyone has EVER been killed in the history of the ENTIRE GODDAMN UNIVERSE. And then, I’m going after whoever hired him. And then we’re going to get Oni no Kitai back from that Eladrin sheep-molester whose initials are AA, but whose name is not important, or easy, enough for me to remember. Because I’m the Space Pirate Snapdragon, baddest pixie in the mortal world.
Write you later!