Well, I’m headed back. Not sure why I’m writing this when I’m just gonna tell you all about it when I get there. Habit maybe?
Anyway, we totally got Gark, man! The Great Goober is now pantsless. But it wasn’t easy, first we had to get there. The rest of the team didn’t get us off to a great start, getting captured by this T’Kazod guy, who said he was some kind of Emissary for the Great Gark. At first they thought he might be alright, but he turned out to be lying and poisoned the team. Not me of course. I’m too awesome to be captured.
So we convinced Roger and Ret, two of his lackeys, to betray him (natch, they ARE goblins, after all) and wrecked him. Roger didn’t seem very trustworthy, so we left him in the mortal world while using some weird ritual to teleport to Nocturne.
We got ambushed the moment we arrived, but it was cool because we’re awesome and we roffle-stomped their ugly goblin faces. Then we met Batogar, one of His Royal Frostbitten Gonads’ minions in Nocturne (who knew, right?). We faked our way into the city. I pretended to be a slaver, or rather, Barleyrice did. (Dude, you have to let me know if anyone from Nocturne ever comes looking for him. Like, seriously, get Pinebark to take dictation or something, because that conversation is going to be LEGENDARY!)
We snuck into the palace through some nasty-ass goblin sewers (I can still smell it when I close my eyyyyyyyyeees) and we
almost died fighting all the guards that showed up when I tripped the alarm basically sleep-walked through stealing the pants. The coolest part is how we got out, though. It turns out Hawkthorn was there (was he a prisoner? It’s hard to say). Anywho, he teleported through some kind of portal to the Feydark. We tried to follow him through, but ended up back in the old elven ruin where we fought that one cultist guy and got the Hand of Vor Thormil (seems like forever ago, right?).
So we totally had the pants, and were all like “Hell yeah! We rule!” when we realized Gark (whose real name is Jareth, apparently) knew we were from Darkwoods Crossing, and we might totally have just started a war (just like old times, right?). So we got back to the city to figure out our next move, I got your letter, annnnd now I’m coming back. Which will be…great. Yeah. Oh, and this mortal guy named Vincent that we rescued back in Shal’d insisted on coming along. So that should be fun.
Anyway, see you when I get there. That really will be nice.